I’ve been noticing lots of changes recently.
My body has been speaking up in all kinds of new ways. Demanding my attention.
Crippling back pain. Stomach cramps. Severe headaches…
I have been trying to get to the bottom of what’s going on.
Whilst on this mission of discovery, my nautral awareness of everything has increased.
I recently realised that lots of people ask me “How’s your photography? Are you busy?” or “How’s work going? Are you keeping busy?” Like busy is the barometer of business health. I get it. I know what they mean but I started to really question it…
And I’ve decided to start answering honestly…
“No, actually I’m not busy. Since recovering and rebuilding from a very stressful few years I’m actually doing everything I can to AVOID being busy.”
“No, I’m not actually. I get lots of enquiries but I seem to miss them or sabotage them because the fear of being busy again is so great it’s holding me back from making the moves I know I need to take”
“Actually, I think I might be allergic to being busy. Even the word busy makes my heart race and my skin itch. I prefer to be slow and chilled. I’m learning to structure my business better so I can manage my commitments and still enjoy as many moments of this beautiful life as possible”
“No, I have priced my work in accordance to how much of my energy it uses so I can ensure I don’t over commit and over extend myself”
And it hasn’t just applied to my work… I notice my need for the slow life is creeping in and cockblocking my social life too.
I am writing this while I was meant to be at a dear friend’s birthday celebration. It has been in the calendar for weeks and I was so looking forward to it… A couple of hours before the event my stomach starts playing up. Cramps, nausea. General yuckiness. The thought of going to a busy place with lots of noise and people totally freaked me out. I just couldn’t even bare the thought. I had to cancel last minute. I felt awful but I literally could not get my body dressed and out the door.
A few hours later my period arrives. Ohhhh this is why I need quiet and rest. This is why I was feeling yucky. It was my body begging me not to push myself and go out.
Which is what old Jodi (or do I say young Jodi?) would have done. I would have pushed through and made myself get there because I had made a commitment and didn’t want to let anyone down. ( I think this falls into the category of People Pleasing?) Now my needs are being screamed from my body so I can no longer gloss over them or ignore them. My body is DEMANDING respect. And rest. And slowness.
Today, as the FOMO starts to swirl my mind I gently ask it to be quiet please so my body can rest. I trust that taking this time will make me an even better catch up next time I see all my friends.
(For those into Human Design, I am a 2/4 - Hermit/Opportunist. A hermit mixed with a social butterfly - I felt so seen when I discovered this! The 2/4 Hermit/Opportunist is a unique combination that brings together two distinct flavors: the introspective nature of the Hermit and the social adaptability of the Opportunist. Individuals with this profile often find themselves needing solitude to recharge but, at the same time, thrive on the connections they make with others. This dual aspect allows 2/4s to be both reflective and engaging, offering a beautiful balance between self-discovery and social interaction.)